somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
