Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Drunk is a universal language darling
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