Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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