haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Jerry, you need to find god
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
