I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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