Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
