Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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