physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The power of my boobs compel you
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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