How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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