you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
