She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
