I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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