We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
