Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
