Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
