i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
