I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he puts the penis in happiness.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
All the doctor said was why
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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