barbara walters just said penis...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
