yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
