WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
