you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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