yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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