Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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