If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
