I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
