I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
