I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
