wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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