it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
