Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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