Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
pray to the hookup gods
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
