That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
this is an emotional support booty call
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
