i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
