Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
