So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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