he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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