just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
