My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
