You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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