Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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