I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
