What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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