It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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