have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
