That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
