I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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