remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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