So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
