I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
At least life still wants to fuck me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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