i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The beer is more important than you right now.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
