i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
