How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
