Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
