We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
