I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
This toilet bowl is my home.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
