I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
