Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
