well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
