I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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