Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
id be glad to
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
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