You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize