im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
