I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
