Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize